There was a time during my eight year long stay in Long Beach in which I would go to the beach nearly every single night. Late at night. Just to sit by the waves and think. The image above (and the one below) were taken earlier than my usual nightly romp, and with friends as opposed to my typical lone state. I just thought that they captured a couple of essential qualities I want represented in this work. One is in the title. A muse in the waves. The other takes the form of a common refrain but in this specific case is a variation of the term unique to Long Beach as a place, while being intuitively felt. The "Endless Summer".
Who or what inspires you to be who you are? Why? How? When? In what way? How deeply? How authentically? How real? I do realize that it is a lot to begin a thought with eight consecutive questions, and that careful consideration of each in turn is quite likely overwhelming. But they are, and the process itself is, necessary. Such questions are foundational to one's sense of self, sense of purpose, reason(s) for being and feeling alive. It helps to have a place to project important thoughts, feelings/emotions, and questions upon. The shores of Alamitos Beach in Long Beach was my first such place. What was/is yours?
Okay so perhaps the waves in and of themselves did not inspire me. In that case, my title is misplaced or misworded. That does not matter. What does is what I made out of it all: who I figured out that I am. I'm still figuring out what I want to some degree, however the process was started on these sands. There is a lot to be gathered from providing oneself time and space to simply be. To exist. To sort through obligations and aspirations without letting them overwhelm all else.
What if what we desperately want is not for us? Thoughts race through the mind, at this hour, on these shores. What is it like to feel something for the first time in a while? I realize once more that I am posing far more questions than answers, but that is all I have, questions, not answers. I learned long ago that responses to these types of questions do not just arise from the murky depths, the detritus washed ashore, the lights flickering in a kaleidoscope of colors from the tall apartment building. Only time provides clarity, and even then not reliably. Searching for meaning is at times a cutthroat endeavor - you may never know what it is that you seek. Other times, everything is so startlingly clear and its fair to marvel at just how brilliantly laid out it all is.
Dreaming of a muse in the waves takes a lot of heart - all that one can muster. This in turn leads to greater vulnerability. Open yourself to the world and brace to receive anything and everything in return. Only after this has taken place, and the myriad lessons thrust in your direction have permeated your consciousness and heightened your sense of being, then may your muse come along and inspire your innate greatness forevermore.
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